I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
