i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize