arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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