ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize