Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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