She is in my trunk
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
