His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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