Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize