toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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