she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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