So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
pop tarts are not kleenex
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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