Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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