party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
