White coat. Heels.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
