if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
