I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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