Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
