Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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