he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
