he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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