i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
there's paper in my vomit.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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