either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
