The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
