No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
