If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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