Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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