Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
