Are we in a gay sports bar?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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