sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
