are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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