Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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