Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize