I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
FUCK WHALES
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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