yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
