Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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