you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize