Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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