Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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