Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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