wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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