i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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