Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
