What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm getting married
To pizza
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
