He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
