Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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