I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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