But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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