He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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