His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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