well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize