i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize