If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize