dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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