I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
