what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
did i just pee glitter
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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