does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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