Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
