I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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