is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
