So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize