i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
