Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
