Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
