If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
