My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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