Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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