did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
