Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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