I just saw a hot homeless man
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
try to milk me bitch
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