So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
