So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
