there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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