Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
