its not stalking. its research.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
