Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
