You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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