i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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