This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Congratulations! We have a period
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
