This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
