waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think I sprained my soul last night
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
