is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
