He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
