I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
