yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
